Frequently Asked Questions (and some lame answers)
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Frequently Asked Questions



Frequently Answered Questions

Why are you doing this?
Why don't you check out the " Why Section " of this webpage?

Give me a break. By voting, can't we influence those in power?
Voting doesn't give you power. Try donating a couple hundred thousand dollars to a political party. Now that can buy you some power! You can get much more influence by golfing with the Prime Minister than you can by voting. Or even better, attend a thousand-dollar-a-plate fundraising dinner, or take a piss in the urinal next to the finance minister and strike up a conversation.

But I don't have enough money to make a large campaign contribution. Besides, I don't play golf, or piss standing up. What can I do?
Incorporate.

Why don't you just lobby your elected representatives if you want change?
Oh yeah! Politicians are always quick to loosen their grip on power....Besides, you think your member of parliament is answerable to you? You think the Prime Minister is answerable to the members of parliament? You think the WTOIMFNAFTAFTAAG7APECETC is answerable to the Prime Minister? Go lobby McDonald's if you want change (You'll at least get a smile).

Get a fucking job ya hippie!
That's not a question.

Why don't you get a fucking job?
This is my job.

If you think this place is so undemocratic, why don't you move to Indonesia?
No thanks, that's where my shoes are from.

If people eat their ballots, then that nut-case Stockwell Day will get in.  Right-wingers aren't angst-ridden about voting. Don't we have to vote strategically, even if that means voting for the Liberals?
Having to decide between Tweedledum and Tweedledee -- that's not a choice -- that's a threat. Our electoral system favors a two-party race, and we should reject it. We have to start working towards a democratic system that doesn't force people to vote for the lesser of two evils (or the evil of two lessers). Wecan't keep jumping from election to election, voting for one moron because we're terrified that there's something worse. Now's the time to stoplegitimizing this process and take a stand for fundamental, long-termchange.  It's more important to call attention to the farce of electoral politics than to split-hairs by choosing between Tweedledumb andTweedledee(or The Mad Hatter, the Queen of Hearts and the Doormouse for that matter).

Women and black civil-rights activistsfought long and hard for the right to vote. Where do you get off eating your ballot?
Those who have made sacrifices for their democratic ideals were often considered naive, law-flaunting, nut-cases at the time.They were fighting for genuine democracy, not some plastic imitation of it. No doubt some of them, if they were alive today, would be chowing down on a delicious ballot sandwich. Destroying your ballot is just a continuation of their struggle. We need to keep working towards genuine democracy. Why stop now?

But if you don't vote, you can't complain. I love complaining; can I eat my ballot and still bitch about politics?
Of course you can! In fact, those slobs who's only role in the political process is checking a ballot once every four years - they're the ones who shouldn't complain. Voting is a pretty insignificant act compared to active participation in public debate, creating our own democratic structures, and building strong communities and organizations.

I heard you kids claim that the Liberals didn't win the last election, how do you figure that?
  • In the last election, the Liberalsreceived 100% of the power
  • 31% of registered voters voted for them
  • 33% of the registered voters didn't vote (they weren't lazy; they werealienated)
  • 5% destroyed or spoiled their ballots
  • So those who rejected our electoral system won the election by 7%.

Do you still find me attractive?
It depends what you mean by "attractive".

This election, we can choose between a bunch of different political parties. How can you say we have no choice?
We have more choice when it comes to breakfast cereal. Speaking of which, if political parties were types of cereal, they'd all be different brands of corn-flakes. The recent game of musical chairs, where members from all five of the major parties have crossed the floor to join other parties is further proof of how interchangeable the parties are. While there are subtle differences between them, they more or less represent the same agenda. Besides, any superficial differences disappear as soon as one of them are elected. The winning political party is just the changeable mask on the face of corporate power. There are parties which don't embrace the agenda of the ruling elite, but that very fact relegates them to obscurity.

If you could be any leafy vegetable, what kind would you be?
Brussel sprouts.

Why don't you vote for the NDP? (Canadian leftish party)
This is a political party which kicked Svend Robinson from their caucus when he tabled a petition signed by his constituents, just because it was remotely controversial. They're slowly moving to the right, along with the other major parties. Take a look at any provincial NDP party which has been elected - they're the same as everyone else (the No Difference Party). We're not saying that every politician is a power-crazed, self-promoting, lying, blood-sucking, corporate chump. But every politician who has positioned themselves to have a shot at wielding power is a power-crazed, self-promoting, lying, blood-sucking, corporate chump. Our political process rewards the worst-traits in a politician, and punishes those with genuine democratic inclinations. Face it, voting for the NDP isn't a protest vote. And voting for the Green Party isn't going to get you anywhere in our winner-takes-all electoral system. Although alternative partiesexist, they will never get anywhere unless they can raise large amounts of cash, and they can't raise cash unless they embrace the agenda of those with the cash. You can vote for an alternative party if it makes you feel better, but you are just legitimizing a system which relegates any party with integrity to obscurity. The only protest vote is a no-vote.

By not voting, aren't you just playing into the hands of the ruling elite? They love having an apathetic public that lets them continue to stay in power.
Voting is what creates the apathy that allows the elite to stay in power. People feel that by voting, they are somehow participating in the democratic process. Then they can go back to work, or their sofa, or their television sets and ignore the political process until the next election. By eating our ballots, we are not only rejecting the current electoral system, but signalling our intention to engage in the political process in ways which are more effective than checking a box every few years.

Aren't you just bitter that you can't vote for anyone because no one supports your views?
Actually, all this corporate-power bashing and crap is getting rather cliched. Even mainstream politicians are getting into the game, claiming that they are outsiders and reformers. Recent polls show that only 25% of Canadians think that average citizens have influence on public policy. Surveys also consistently show that tax cuts rank only 3rd or 4th on our priority list, but you wouldn't think that listening to the major parties or the media. Polls consistently show that 70% of us think that international trade deals need to protect the environment and working conditions, and over 80% of us think that corporations and unions shouldn't be able to influence elections through political contributions. More of us don't vote than support any major party - we won the last election!

If you think the system is so messed up, why don't you run for office?
Can you spare a fewmillion dollars?

So the system isn't perfect, what do you propose instead?
Why don't you check out our alternatives page?

Do you really think that this campaign is gonna make any difference?
It already has. By generating debate, issues which usually never see the light of day are being discussed. We hope to encourage voters to seriously consider their reasons for voting, and the true impotence of their vote in the context of representative democracy. By eating our ballots we are taking democracy out of the polling stations and into our own hands...not to mention our stomachs, woks, fondu pots...We're not suggesting that eating ballots is gonna start a revolution, but voting every few years definitely won't change anything -- especially if our political involvement ends once we leave the voting booth. Throughout history, democratic change has not come through voting, but through widespread movements which have forced change, whether they want to or not. The civil rights movement, and the struggle by women suffragettes are just two examples of this. Besides, the morning after the election, we won't wake up feeling dirty, like most voters.

How do you expect anyone to take you seriously if you are being so absurd?
Eating your ballot is no more absurd than our politicians. It's not because we laugh that it's funny. We have the democratic obligation to be absurd right back! There's plenty of absurdity to go around.

Okay, I'm convinced!  What can I do?
On election day, when you go to the polling station, instead of doing something you'll only regret in the morning, eat your ballot! Of course, there are many different methods of ballot destruction. Choose a method which best suits your wardrobe, and be creative.That's just a start. You can help us organize . We need to reject the current political structure, and begin forming our own.This means creating our own democratic alternatives, and starting a genuine dialogue about how society can work.

What about the traditional protest method of spoiling your ballot?
If you spoil your ballot then you can't eat it, unless you don't mind getting indigestion or food poisoning.

If I want to destroy my ballot, do I have to register?
Yes. You could destroy someone else's ballot, but that's not really advisable. You are probably already registered, but if not, just swallow you pride and contact Elections Canada or call 1 800 INFO-VOTE.

I've heard that ballots can also act as an aphrodisiac. Is this true?
There is some truth to this. The effect varies from person to person. If you enjoy submission and like to be tied down and told what to do, you will probably find the ballot highly titillating - even downright erotic.

I usually meet my vitamin requirements with newsprint. Will a ballot be as nutrient-rich?
Ballots are a good source of Vitamin Corporate and Vitamin McDomination. However, some newsprint sources may contain more...for example, one 8 oz. serving of the National comPost contains three times your recommended daily intake, not to mention a great deal of nitrogen.

How can I cook my ballot to make it more palatable?
There are many dishes which make ballot delicious.  We suggest that you choose one that appeals to you personally.  To aid in your choice, we have come up with a recipe book of suggestions to help you turn that ballot from an offensive, bland chunk of distasteful gaggery into a delicious dish bursting with flavor!

I have an ink allergy. Can I substitute regular white paper for ballots in recipes?
Yes, but your recipe will no longer be revolutionary.

Are ballots vegan?
No. They also contain big trees. Get over it.

What if I have a weak stomach and can't stand all that starch?
Well, instead of voting you can really take part in the political process and sell your vote!  I mean, every one else in politics makes a little coin around election time.  Politicians get their palms greased by corporations.  Corporations get incentives, breaks, andsubsidies from politicians.  Even voters get a big pile of goodies right before election time so they can forget about the past few years of cuts,rip-offs, and general mismanagement.  Why shouldn't you get in on theaction?  Click here to find out about selling your vote.

How much can I get for my vote?
Well, it depends where you live.  Votes in swing ridings in Ontario have been known to go for hundreds, even thousands of dollars!  Votes inAlberta, where things are looking more like a landslide aren't worth all that much.  Fortunately, it's only a matter of time before market efficiencywill allow vote-sellers to reap the rewards of capitalism. It won't be longbefore politicians realize that instead of buying votes by spending millions of dollars on advertising campaigns, they can streamline the process, and buytheir votes directly. Help bring capitalism and electoral politics to itsinevitable conclusion.

Can I be charged for doingany of this?
We're not really sure. While we don't think we are doing anything illegal, everyone should realize that they are potentiallyengaging in civil disobedience. People were charged for destroying theirballots in the last federal election, but the charges were dropped. The Canada Elections Act has some provisions to prevent ballot destruction, but these provisions appear to apply to people who try to rig elections by destroying other people's ballots. However, the folks at Elections Canada are notexactly the sharpest crayons in the box, and they may over-react, and charge you. If you want more details on this legal issue, click here. Actually selling your vote in a manner where real money changehands, and you really vote the way you are told, is definitely illegal. For some reason, trying to influence politicians by making large "donations" is not considered bribery or corruption, and is perfectly legal. Go figure.

Get a haircut!
I thought we went through this.

Why don't you get a haircut?
That's not hair.



For more information, email ebs_at_tao.ca